7 Years in America

In the summer of 2022, I received a memory notification on my phone containing a video. The caption said, “7 years ago today.” I clicked the video, and it was a video of RJ playing basketball in one of the many beautiful and well-equipped parks in Arizona. “What! We’ve been here for 7 years already?” I asked him.

Although I was happy to see RJ in the video, it was a harsh reminder that I have wasted 7 years of my life in America. Unfulfilled professionally. Unattached socially. And monetarily speaking, struggling.

You see, in 2015, I decided to leave Africa after 16 years to return to America to help prepare RJ for high school and then college. An American I met in London told me about Arizona. As a former New York City police officer, I did not want to move RJ to NYC (another story for another time), and having grown up in the Midwest, I did not want to move to a state with a cold climate. So, Arizona, it was.

Before moving to Arizona, I researched the state and decided to visit. There are many equestrian activities here, a good job market, and a warm climate. I mean, HOT climate! Finding a job that paid what I earned while working for the United Nations was out of the question. However, I didn’t anticipate the difficulty of supporting a family in Arizona with the salary range available. Two years of unemployment is not something I could have ever imagined given my education, diverse experiences, skills, and attributes. I was motivated and positive during my job search and cheerful during interviews when I got invited to them. It was common for interviewers to tell me, “You have good skills and experience, but you are not the right fit” or “you are not quite what we are looking for”. What a confidence killer!

As a result of my dissatisfaction after three months in America, I shifted my focus to Africa and began looking for a job in Africa, despite continuing my local job search so I could support my family until an international offer arrived.

After my temporary United Nations job in the Hague ended and I returned to Arizona in 2018, I finally started receiving plentiful invitations for interviews and a few job offers. Thanks be to the glory of God!

I have had a few opportunities in Arizona since 2018. In spite of that, I cannot help but feel that I wasted 7 years of my younger life that I will never be able to reclaim. Many people enjoy living in America. However, I have always felt out of place in the United States and do not believe I will ever feel settled here. Despite my best efforts, I have not been able to find another long-term international job. I was unable to provide my son with a good and adventurous life during these seven years in the US. Furthermore, my son’s skin color makes him susceptible to being challenged and not respected here. I regret bringing him into an environment where he does not see other young people like him or black men in leadership positions.

I remain steadfast in my faith in God and desire to accomplish my dreams outside America. I have to believe a seven-year stay in Arizona was just part of the plan that prepared me for good fortune, the life I desire, and for my future in Africa, where I once enjoyed happiness, peace, and the guidance that helped me become the woman I am today.